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Friday, September 15, 2017

My Lily and the snowman writing

WALT write a narrative through the eyes of the snowman
WALT use adjectives, adverb and other interesting language features to describe the setting, the snowman's feelings and thoughts and what is happening.

This is just my writing for this week, if you didn’t read my W.A.L.T I’m basically learning to describe and my teacher calls it show not tell. Show not tell means like just paint a picture in the reader's head

This is my writing:

Lily and the snowman

One glowey winter night the moon was shining like sun on a window in the summer. I really love to make snowmen in the winter in my giant backyard. I love to feel the snow on my hands and feet, I also love see how deep the snow is and fall in sometimes. I haven’t told anyone but I want to eat the snow. I love the snow so much I asked my mum “ can I go out to play in the snow for 20 minutes” from my warm cozy bed and mum said “yes, but you need to come in when I tell you and bundle up” from the warm fire place. I said “ok, I will.” I got ready and went outside.

Oh hi my name is Lily and I’m 6 years old I went outside and the snow was better than I imagined. It looked like candy floss and I just want to eat it right now, but I know I can’t. After three minutes I started to make snowballs and I had an idea. I should make a snowman so that’s what I did. I got all the materials, a carrot, a scarf, stones for button and face, the last thing is a hat.

I started to make the snowballs bigger and bigger till I made two pretty big snowballs, I added all the materials except the carrot. So I added the carrot and I jumped down, then something magical happened the snowman came to life. I was so shocked and excited I had my own snowman, he said “ hi I’m your magical snowman.” In my head I was screaming but all I said  was “ this is awesome I have my own talking snowman. The snowman said “just call me bill.” So I said “ok hi bill.”

I said “ what can you do bill,” he didn’t say anything he showed me what he could do. He put on a puppet show and I love puppet shows nearly as much as I love the snow. I was so thrilled. Bill said “ use your imagination and that’s what I did. The first one was a bird, I imagined it flying over big rocks and a knight riding a horse. The horse was jumping rock to rock and it was really cool. I loved it so much I screamed with happiness.

A few days later he did another one and it was an umbrella, I imagined it that my dad was on and island and my mum found him. Then hugged him under the moonlight, that one was really cool as well. But then spring was starting to come and bill was melting, but I had an idea of putting him in the garage freezer. I asked him if that would be ok and he said “ that’s the best idea I’ve heard ever.” I told him I would get him out every winter and play with him.  The last thing bill asked was “ can I have a teddy bear” so I gave him a teddy bear.

A year later it was snowing again and I could bill out and play with him. He didn’t look different at all but he said “ Lily you got taller and you look more michore. I said “ thank you bill, are you ready to have some fun. He said “ of course I’m ready” so we went to the backyard and we watched the show together again and again. Until spring came and he had to go back in the freezer. We were both really sad but we knew we needed to put bill in the freezer until next winter.

But next winter I was a teenager and I forgot about Bill, but I did got say hi and stuff. But I was on my phone most of the time and I didn’t ask him how his day was or anything, that was rude of me. Inside I did want to take Bill out but I was just too busy with my friends and doing teenager stuff. One time I was grabbing an ice block out of the freezer and he looked really sad, but once again I was on my phone talking to my friends.

Years have past and now I’m an adult, I work and I have a child, but I still live in the same house. I had to stay late for work because that day I was about ten minutes late to work. When I was leaving everything went wrong, my cup fall over, my light fall over and my snow globe moved on my desk. It showed a picture of a snowman… Bill I just remembered he’s in the freezer in the garage, I keep forgetting to take him out every winter. I need to go home and get him out of the freezer. So I rushed home and went to the garage and got everything away from the freezer, then opened it.

Bill looked so thrilled and I said “ I’m sorry for forgetting to take you out, I don’t know what I was thinking” he said, “ I forgive you Lilly you were just growing up.” I was so glad bill understood me and I asked him. “Do you want to put on a show for my daughter.” He said “ of course I am.” So I told my daughter and she was so thrilled she got ready right away.

This was so memorable my daughter could keep Bill then give it to her children, the whole family can have a go at keeping Bill. But for now Bill is mine and I can ask Bill to put on a show for my kids and my family. Because my kids love puppet shows as well, and I still loves Bill’s shows and I will take him out every winter. This time I will never miss a winter ever again.

The end.

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